We all know that scenario. At some point, your great aunt Mildred/mother-in-law/other highly judgmental individual will arrive upon your doorstep expecting to be entertained and fed. How does one impress such people with one’s culinary prowess when, in fact, you have very little? Well, that’s what Seb and I are here for. This is a surprisingly easy canapé that is sure to make you seem like a far better cook than you actually are…provided you keep tight-lipped about having bought the pastry. That last bit is crucial.
Here are some good phrases to use when lying about the success of your ‘home-made’ pastry:
- “The secret, I’ve found, is having really cold hands. I’m just lucky, I suppose.”
- “I couldn’t agree more. Shop-bought pastry is an utter travesty.”
- “My pastry recipe? Of course! I’ll write it down and give it to you when you leave.” (and then keep them so busy talking that they forget to ask for it)
Okay. Let’s get started.
- 1 roll shop-bought puff pastry. You are of course welcome to make it yourself, but I personally refuse to be a part of such unnecessary self-torture.
- A generous block of cheese, sliced. Mature cheddar works well.
- A good amount of Rosa tomatoes, sliced in half.
- Fresh sprigs of thyme.
- 1 small packet of pistachio nuts, shelled.
- Woolies’ onion marmalade
Yes, that is literally everything.
Preheat the oven to 190°C.
- Grease 2 large rectangular oven trays.
- Roll out your pastry as thin as you can get it, trying to get it as close to the size and shape of your baking tray. Put it on the tray and then trim any ugly edges.
- Using a knife, draw lines onto the pastry (i.e. scoring it) – so that it’s divided into rectangular pieces of the same size.
- Score the pastry lightly again, this time drawing a 1cm ‘picture frame’ within each of the rectangles. The outer frame will puff out during baking, which looks quite sweet.
- Place a slice of cheese in the middle of each slice, keeping it inside of the ‘picture’ frame.
- Now- using that artistic flair that I know you have- place two tomato halves, two pistachio nuts, a dollop of onion marmalade and a spring of thyme onto the middle of every slice. We found that using the same arrangement every time looked super snazzy.
- Pop in the oven and bake for around 20minutes. This time may vary depending on the thickness of your pastry and the amount of topping you have on your slices, so keep on checking them after 15 minutes.
- Once your pastries are oozing golden-brown, melted cheese deliciousness, it’s time. Take them out, cut through the slices with a pizza slicer or similar and serve hot.
You can thank us later.